The lights dimmed as the party went quiet.
The fireworks of the New Year outside slowly became the ambient noise and atmosphere.
The lights and mood and happiness around intoxicated my very being,
Mesmerizing just enough for me to lose track of time but not my senses.
The cold river air nearby brought back memories of times I missed,
And helped break the numbness from lack of sleep.
The stars pulsed softly in the sky and the river sung with all its tones and colours
Making me forget all our worries and cares… I wish…

I was holding her so close to me that I nearly choke my senses with her being there.
A perfect, silent moment, a lie when my laughter was shouting; pouring out my very heart without even telling her a word.
I looked into her eyes and I saw a failing light that used to guide my way,
She looked back at me and smiled, I smiled back confused if she were mocking me or expressing affection.
We kissed a shallow kiss and our friends smiled, I heard them whisper among each other how right and good and perfect and how meant for each other and true we were,
Yet it all just made me want to turn my back run.
I whispered in her ear “Promise me we’ll never act this foolish again” and smiled as much as my calloused heart allowed me to… She smiled back and nodded, yet never made the promise…

“Remember two years ago?” I asked her barely able to summon the voice from the scared little boy I was that night.
We kept on walking on the chilly dark night and I tenderly put my jacket around her shoulders.
She smiled and said she misses those times; I took it as a shy confession that things were now different,
I prayed to be wrong but I never believed in anything so I don’t know what I was praying to.
We stopped at the same time like we knew that was going to happen like we so often do, and looked into each other’s eyes,
I was afraid to think I still knew her that well or still felt so connected.
We were now walking past the café where we met and I nearly cried when I noticed I remember every second of that day… On that moment, so perfect, I felt more alone than ever.


I bowed my head and the memories rushed like they always do,
I looked you in the eyes and I felt you knew what I meant like you always do.
Do you need this as bad as I do?

A moment, so perfect, so rare…

Do you need me as bad as I need you?